LEMONADE
Poems by: Warsan Shire
Visual Album by: Beyonce
Intuition
I tried to make a home out of you, but doors lead to
trap doors, a stairway leads to nothing
Unknown women wander the hallways at night
Where do you go when you go quiet?
You remind me of my father, a magician ... able to
exist in two places at once
In the tradition of men in my blood, you come home
at 3 a.m. and lie to me
What are you hiding?
The past and the future merge to meet us here
What luck. What a f*cking curse
Denial
I tried to change
Closed my mouth more, tried to be softer, prettier,
less awake
Fasted for 60 days, wore white, abstained from
mirrors, abstained from sex, slowly did not speak another word
In that time, my hair, I grew past my ankles
I slept on a mat on the floor
I swallowed a sword
I levitated
Went to the basement, confessed my sins, and was
baptized in a river
I got on my knees and said 'amen' and said 'I mean.'
I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your
feet
I threw myself into a volcano
I drank the blood and drank the wine
I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God
I crossed myself and thought I saw the devil
I grew thickened skin on my feet, I bathed in
bleach, and plugged my menses with pages from the holy book, but still inside
me, coiled deep, was the need to know ... Are you cheating on me?
Cheating? Are you cheating on me?
Anger
Emptiness
Tills the blood, in and out of uterus
Wakes up smelling of zinc, grief sedated by orgasm, orgasm heightened by grief
God was in the room when the man said to the woman, "I love you so much. Wrap your legs around me
Accountability
Hope
If it's what you truly want ...
I can wear her skin over mine
Her hair over mine
Her hands as gloves
Her teeth as confetti
Her scalp, a cap
Her sternum, my bedazzled cane
We can pose for a photograph, all three of us
Immortalized ... you and your perfect girl
I don't know when love became elusive
What I know is, no one I know has it
My father's arms around my mother's neck, fruit too
ripe to eat
I think of lovers as trees ... growing to and from
one another
Searching for the same light
Why can't you see me?
Why can't you see me?
Why can't you see me?
Everyone else can
Apathy
So what are you gonna say at my funeral, now that you've killed me?
So what are you gonna say at my funeral, now that you've killed me?
Here lies the body of the love of my life, whose
heart I broke without a gun to my head
Here lies the mother of my children, both living and
dead
Rest in peace, my true love, who I took for granted
Most bomb p*ssy who, because of me, sleep evaded
Her god listening
Her heaven will be a love without betrayal
Ashes to ashes, dust to side chicks
She sleeps all day
Dreams of you in both worldsTills the blood, in and out of uterus
Wakes up smelling of zinc, grief sedated by orgasm, orgasm heightened by grief
God was in the room when the man said to the woman, "I love you so much. Wrap your legs around me
Pull me in, pull me in, pull me in
“Sometimes when he'd have her nipple in his mouth,
she'd whisper, "Oh, my God." That, too, is a form of worship
Her hips
grind, pestle and mortar, cinnamon and cloves
Whenever he pulls out ... loss
Dear moon, we blame you for floods ... for the flush
of blood ... for men who are also wolves
We blame for the night for the dark, for the ghosts
You find the black tube inside her beauty case where
she keeps your father's old prison letters
You desperately want to look like her
You look nothing like your mother
You look everything like your mother
Film star beauty
How to wear your mother's lipstick
You go to the bathroom to apply your mother's
lipstick
Somewhere no one can find you
You must wear it like she wears disappointment on
her face
Your mother is a woman and women like her cannot be
contained
Mother dearest, let me inherit the earth
Teach me how to make him beg
Let me make up for the years he made you wait
Did he bend your reflection?
Did he make you forget your own name?
Did he convince you he was a god?
Did you get on your knees daily?
Do his eyes close like doors?
Are you a slave to the back of his head?
Am I talking about your husband or your father?
Reformation
He bathes me until I forget their names and faces
I ask him to look me in the eye when I come home
Resurrection
Reformation
He bathes me until I forget their names and faces
I ask him to look me in the eye when I come home
Why do you deny yourself heaven?
Why do you consider yourself undeserving?
Why are you afraid of love?
You think it's not possible for someone like you
But you are the love of my life
You are the love of my life
You are the love of my life
Forgiveness
Baptize me ... now that reconciliation is possible
Forgiveness
Baptize me ... now that reconciliation is possible
If we're gonna heal, let it be glorious
1,000 girls raise their arms
Do you remember being born?
Are you thankful for the hips that cracked?
The deep velvet of your mother and her mother and
her mother?
There is a curse that will be broken
Resurrection
Something is missing
So many young women, they tell you, "I want me
a hu — see, all them make me feel better than you." So how we supposed to
lead our children to the future?
What do we do? How do we lead them?
Love. L-O-V-E, love. Mm-mmm-mmm
Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus
I just love the Lord, I'm sorry, brother
I love the Lord
That's all I got.
When your back gets against the wall and your wall against
your back, who you call?
Hey! Who you call? Who you call?
You gotta call Him
You gotta call Jesus
You gotta call Him
You gotta call Him 'cause you ain't got another hope
You are terrifying ... and strange and beautiful
Magic.
The nail technician pushed my cuticles back ...
turns my hand over, stretches the skin on my palm and says, "I see your daughters
and their daughters."
That night in a dream, the first girl emerges from a
slit in my stomach
The scar heals into a smile
The man I love pulls the stitches out with his
fingernails
We leave black sutures curling on the side of the
bath
I wake as the second girl crawls headfirst up my
throat, a flower blossoming out of the hole in my face
Redemption
Take one pint of water, add a half pound of sugar, the juice of eight lemons, the zest of half a lemon
Take one pint of water, add a half pound of sugar, the juice of eight lemons, the zest of half a lemon
Pour the water from one jug then into the other
several times
Strain through a clean napkin
Grandmother, the alchemist, you spun gold out of
this hard life, conjured beauty from the things left behind
Found healing where it did not live
Discovered the antidote in your own kit
Broke the curse with your own two hands
You passed these instructions down to your daughter
who then passed it down to her daughter
I had my ups and downs, but I always find the inner
strength to pull myself up
I was served lemons, but I made lemonade
My grandma said "Nothing real can be
threatened."
True love brought salvation back into me
With every tear came redemption and my torturers
became my remedy
So we're gonna heal
We're gonna start again
You've brought the orchestra, synchronized swimmers
You're the magician
Pull me back together again, the way you cut me in
half
Make the woman in doubt disappear
Pull the sorrow from between my legs like silk
Knot after knot after knot
The audience applauds ... but we can't hear them
___
